Ruth Graham after learning her first husband was unfaithful struggled with suicidal thoughts.  This led her to a second “rebound marriage” that lasted only five weeks.

In 2004 Ruth Graham at a very low point in her life formed a ministry, Ruth Graham & Friends.  This ministry helps others address problems that are often ignored in the Christian community.  “Once we’re in the church, we pretend all the sinners are on the outside.  We want to keep the rules, and when we can’t, we become shameful and pretend we have it all together,” Graham shared in an interview.

Through Graham’s “Get Growing” conferences she is educating Christians about these issues.  One such conference was in Nashville last month with 400 in attendance.  The conference addresses issues such as addiction, depression, eating disorders, marital infidelity, anger, divorce, loneliness and pornography.  Graham said, “The world is tired of plastic Christians.”  “I was tired of being a plastic Christian, I told everybody I had it all together, and I was falling apart.  And I was scared to death to tell somebody.”

At the conferences, she talks about her experiences and how her faith and family's support helped her survive. The meetings include workshops where participants can get one-on-one guidance. Graham received psychological counseling after her second divorce, and says in her workshops that some Christians might need therapy in addition to spiritual counseling.  “My concern is for the person who’s in the church and is either stuck because of one of these major issues in their life or they’re just struggling with a family member or someone they know.” Said Graham.  “And they want to know how to get unstuck.”

Graham, 57 is the author of several books, including “In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart” and “I’m Pregnant….Now What?”  Graham considers herself also as an evangelist describing what she does as “sharing.”  She is a Presbyterian and resembles her famous father Dr. Billy Graham’s tall and graceful style.  “I think I’m dealing with believers already who are just struggling in their lives like I did,” she said.  “A lot of people have been taught that if you’re depressed there’s something wrong with you spiritually.  That’s so unfair.  It’s a physical issue.  No one was addressing it with me.  I was told to get a Bible and go into the mountains and I’d be fine.  And I knew I wasn’t.  I wanted to take a gun into the woods and shoot myself.”

Graham learned of her first husband’s infidelity after 18 years of marriage and her life changed dramatically.  After three years of trying to save the marriage and knowing it was not going to be saved she fell into a deep depression.  This was hard on her being the daughter of Billy Graham.

She said she tried to “live up to people’s expectations, and you become inauthentic and you pretend you have it all together, but inside you’re dying.”

Graham said after her divorce she was introduced to a handsome widower and they married after six months.  Her parents and others had warned her not to marry.  She said, “Within 24 hours, I knew I had made a very bad mistake.  I became afraid of him and decided not to stick around.”
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Graham left Virginia after living there for 27 years and went to live with her parents in their home in North Carolina.  Her father, who turned 90 on Nov. 7th still resides there.  Her mother, Ruth died in 2007 at the age of 87.    “I had to go tell my parents, I thought.”  “What are they going to say to me?”  Her father was waiting for her as she rounded the last bend in the driveway.  He was waiting for me and he wrapped his arms around me and said, “Welcome home.”  He showed enormous grace to me. 

“As I was talking to him one day, really beating myself up and taking responsibility for everything and just pouring my heart out, he said, “Quit beating yourself up.  We all live under grace and do the best we can.”  Graham said, “That’s a very grace-filled statement from a man who could very well have said, “You’re out of here.  I’m tired of it.”

Graham’s children were hurting in the midst of her turmoil.  At age 16 one of her daughters had a baby and another one not long after that.  Then her son was treated for drug abuse and another daughter suffered from bulimia.

It was in the midst of these trials that Ruth Graham decided to go back to college to finish her degree at Mary Baldwin College in Staunton, VA.  This is a woman’s school where her major was religion communication.  Ruth would fill in for her sister Gigi when she couldn’t make her speaking engagements and she found out she had a talent for speaking. 

 Billy and Ruth Graham have five children and all of them are evangelist or involved in some Christian ministry.  Anne Graham Lotz, ministers through her AnGel ministries with revival meetings worldwide.  Franklin Graham has succeeded his father as the head of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.  The younger son, Ned ministered in China for many years. 

Ruth Graham shared “Our dinner conversations were about people whose lives had been changed because of the Gospel.”  “Everybody wants to make a difference in life.  We saw it was clear that Jesus made a difference.”  She also said it was both parents living examples of how to follow biblical teachings that inspired her own ministry.

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